I’m naturally drawn to stories about soul mates.

I love the idea that there are people on this earth that are so well matched it’s like their souls are connected. It’s one that has stuck with me through my Catholic childhood and my secular adulthood. 

Something I don’t love about the traditional concept of soul mates is that they’re inherently romantic. Sex and the City tried to turn this concept on its head, but I don’t think it ever truly took hold. 

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

Candace Bushnell

Hearing Sarah Jessica Parker narrate those words as Carrie Bradshaw planted a seed in my 20-something ultra-romantic brain. I wouldn’t really understand it or come to believe it until my late-30s. 

Love isn’t a Limited Resource

I’ve learned from the consensually non-monogamous (CNM) community that it’s normal and okay if your spouse doesn’t or can’t fulfill all of your wants and needs in a relationship. Quite frankly, it’s a lot to ask one person to be ALL the things and removing that requirement does a lot to loosen the pressure valve on a relationship. 

The definition of relationship anarchy touches on this concept:

Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple. You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another. Don’t rank and compare people and relationships — cherish the individual and your connection to them. One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real. Each relationship is independent, and a relationship between autonomous individuals.

Andie Nordgren

In practice, for the average married couple this may look like a spouse filling their partner’s need for romance and physical intimacy, whereas a best friend is a better fit for emotional support. 

How Does this Relate to Soul Mates?

I wanted to write a story that shifted away from the idea that soul mates were romantic connections between two people and toward something that is better reflected in the vast majority of relationships. Even if it’s not done consciously, the people we have in our lives fill specific buckets and those people are equally important in different ways. To be clear, this book isn’t a meditation on relationship anarchy, but it does draw some inspiration from the concepts. 

In the Roots in Ink universe, soul mates are people whose souls are magically linked in a way that amplifies that connection. 

These connections can be:

• Romantic/sexual (main characters, Emma and Liam);
• Platonic (Emma and her best friend Regan);
• Familial (Liam and his niece Deryn);
• Antagonistic (not in this book but definitely another)

I’m curious (and a bit nervous) to see how my interpretation lands with readers. Soul mates and fated mates are huge in the paranormal and fantasy romance genres and I don’t know if readers will appreciate the trope being turned on its head. 

Book Update

At the time of posting, I’ve finished editing the first third of the book. Line and copy edits are tedious and move a lot more slowly than I anticipated. I have some larger chapter revisions, but nothing as in-depth as after the first beta read. I really want to finish all my edits in the next two weeks. 

I have a query letter template written and waiting for personalization. I’m expecting to enter the query trenches by the end of the month. 

Have you ever queried a book? What advice do you have for me? Leave it in the comments.